leaving your own home and coming to another which is also your own or so the people say. leaving your family and coming into a new one which is also yours (or your ‘real’ family as said by my husband on one of his ‘wise guy’ days). that’s the story of every Indian girl after marriage leaving all that is hers and stepping into all that isn’t hers but is supposed to be, for that is what the society says her home is not her own anymore it becomes her mayka or mummy ka ghar all that was hers is replaced by what her husband or her families (both sides) endow on her.
But this leaves her with an identity crisis, the question of her rights and and responsibilities(towards her maternal home specially if she has no brother). Hence, the dilemma whats mine and what not .
Adding on to this are the aunties and uncles, the dadis and dadajis who have married generations and seen tons of marriages solemnized the well wishers of our society, ones who always have a few wise words for all and sundry. Their advises on how a sanskari girl should act post marriage how often should she go home how often should she call home etc. etc. At times you simply feel like asking these people that who has really asked for there comments or who has signed up for their worldly philosophy classes. Here are the most commonly(irritatingly) issued theories by the culturally enlightened citizens of our society
- Ladkiyaan to parayadhan hoti hain excuse me we are just normal human beings no dhan and specially not paraya or apna.
- Ladkiyon ka asli ghar to sasuraal hi hota hai i beg to differ but a girl is just lucky to have two houses both are equally her own there cannot be a comparison between the two.
- Pati parmeshwar hota hai pati ki respect karo and thats a concept I cant stomach respecting your elders I get loving your spouse I get for sure but your husband is supposed to be your companion for eternity so wont it be better having him as your friend rather than your parmeshwar aka GOD?
- Apna dhyan ab sasuraal me lagao maayke me nahi and thats where my insides boil!!!!! What do you mean maayke me dhyaan mat lagao( don’t think about your parents much) how can you expect somebody to ignore or neglect the family or the place she has spent most of her life with is that even possile!!!!???
Yeah these people will have their arguements about knowing it all having been through the same phases themselves and a whole lot but what they forget or choose to ignore is that the world is changing and so are the dynamics of a marriage the daughter in laws nowadays are capable enough to shoulder the responsibilities that a marriage entails times are changing and so are the keys to a successful marriage.
Well thats really not the last of it but will have to be for now as the adarsh bahu role awaits…